They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
