listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
