I can't watch pbs sober anymore
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
