Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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