I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
