Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
