We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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