I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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