I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
