Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
