So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
