i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
