My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
