im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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