evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
