I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize