I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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