WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
