you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
