That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
operation have a gay friend backfired
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
