Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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