I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
