Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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