There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
