I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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