dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
