In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize