Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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