We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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