A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
