i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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