He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
