I just saw a hot homeless man
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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