So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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