is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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