He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
