I love black thongs
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
