If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
