does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
