Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
