Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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