I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
