Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize