JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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