There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
3 2 1 whiskey
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
