I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
