Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You took a bar mat shot.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
