I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
