i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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