Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
