She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
