I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
