I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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