My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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