it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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