Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
