I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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