idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
His nipple licking is glorious
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